"Not even in the World Series have the Twins scored a victory as important as last weekend's triumph at the State Capitol," coos the Star Tribune as Mike Opat and a gaggle of jock-sniffing dweebs shove the new Twins stadium deep into our ass.

Doug Grow, a recent stadium supporting convert, gets off on throwing himself under the feet on stadium opposing female politicos, Representative Mindy Greiling from Roseville and Linda Koblick, District 6 Hennepin County Commissioner.

Then there is Sid Hartman, still playing that one note on his piano, saying (again) that without the stadium the Twins will leave. Someone poke Sid in the ribs and tell him that the Twins have their stadium--he can finally retire or go back to writing defenses of losing Minnesota sports franchises.

Let's not forget to applaud the "Three who made the Twins' stadium dream come true"! Paul Levy and Rochelle Olson mix the metaphors freely as they admire the "all-star lineup" that lubricated the stadium deal prior to insertion, naming three standouts.

That Jerry Bell gets special kudos is hardly a surprise: he was a paid advocate for this boondoggle. The Strib has a special place in its heart for honest hardworking corporate tools--especially if they move from the public sector to the private. As Levy and Olson point out, Bell worked for the parks and recreation departments in "St. Paul suburbs" before becoming a shill. Hmmm, I bet none of the St. Paul suburbs is paying for this Twins stadium.

Also singled out, Brad Finstad, a young Republican legislator from Comfrey, gets buried in baseball metaphors as he is lionized for his leadership in the Minnesota house, getting the bill through the session and conference committee intact. None of his constituents are paying for this stadium.

But Hennepin County District 1 Commissioner Mike Opat's constituents are paying for it. And for that, the Strib gives him special consideration as the "stadium plan architect." On the editorial page, it gets deeper.

. . . Opat did the heaviest lifting. He negotiated a tough deal with the Twins and never wavered in placing Minnesota's future ahead of day-to-day politics. "We had forgotten how to dream in this state. We need to dream. We need sometimes to do the things we want to do, not just the things we have to do," he said. "Not everything revolves around adding social services or cutting taxes."

If one watched Opat's snide performance at the Hennepin County Board Meeting on April 18 , one could already tell that this stadium was, in the lexicon of Minnesota development whores, "a done deal." More importantly Opat's constituents should remember how clear it was at that meeting that the man values democratic process not a whit and believes that it is the proper role of an elected official to operate as a public relations consultant to a sports franchise.

Come November, remember Opat's logic that a referendum on the stadium tax as mandated by state law was a deal killer, so it shouldn't happen. In other words, he wanted his dream-- process be damned, including your right to vote on the tax increase necessary to Mikey's fantasy.

If Linda Koblick doesn't go all Beatrix Kiddo on his ass, then voters should turn this smug bastard out in the fall.

A friend remembers lots of empty seats at the old Metropolitan Stadium, the outdoor park that Minnesota tore down in 1985, as mediocre Twins teams played out their seasons without a chance of making the playoffs.

I remember the Dome being filled to the brim as the Twins won the World Series in 1987.

For all but the hardcore fans, winning is the poetry so essential to baseball. Mike Opat's dream 500 million dollar open air stadium next to the garbage burner won't fill one damn seat.

--Loosestrife